Recap of First Two Weeks

Well I've officially been out of the US for 2 weeks.  WOW!  That's all I can really say.  Part of me thinks it couldn't possibly have been that long and another seems to think it's been way longer than 2 weeks.

Since I've been here, I've had a roller coaster of emotions.  I knew it would be hard to leave everyone and everything I knew behind, but I didn't realize how difficult it would really be.  When I moved into my flat, I found out how alone I really was.  Staying at the hotel for 3 days didn't make the move seem real.  I was in vacation mode and that changed quickly.  On my first day, I completely unpacked and went for a walk back up my street to the main road.  I went in search of a grocery store, and I figured on was up in that direction as I kept seeing people coming in my direction with grocery bags.  Well 20 minutes later (I took the scenic route on accident-aka I got lost) I finally found the store.  Apparently Sunday is market day for everyone because Sainsbury's was packed.  (**found out it is not just Sunday's, that store is ALWAYS crowded).  I managed to purchase a few essentials, like bread and milk.  Monday I set out to find my University because I needed to endorse my checks and I had orientation that afternoon.  I managed to navigate the bus system on my own and got there in one piece.  Orientation was good, met a lot of new people.  Now this orientation was for all new international students so pretty much all my new friends are American (2 from Texas, 1 from Arizona [though originally from Texas], and 2 from NYC).  I also met a girl from Iran.  Everyone was super nice.  Since then several of us have hung out.  Gulmina (from NYC) lives about a 15 minute walk, or 3 bus stops, from me so we see each other on a fairly regular bases.  In the course of our adventures around London, we picked up a couple of other people.  Lindsey is from Vancouver and the only one of us with someone at home.  We met her at Argos (discount store) and she lives literally 2 blocks from away from me.  Other than shopping for the flat and meeting my advisors, I've done a bit of site seeing.  Last week, I visited the National Gallery, the Tate Britain, explored Portobello Road in Notting Hill, and tried a few new restaurants.  Oh, did I mention, that it only took 1 1/2 weeks for me to finally have my first real British meal-bangers and mash on Sunday at this quaint little pub in Pimlico.

The term officially started on Monday, but since I don't have classes it doesn't seem like I do anything.  My advisors instructed me to create a working bibliography of British history relating to my topic and in 3 days I've come up with 30 pages of possible sources and that's only using 4 keywords thus far.  I've not been able to go to the library and go through them yet, as my student ID has still not arrived and it could be another week (YUCK!).

Besides research and exploring London, I don't do too much.  I'm still in the adjustment stage of being here.  Well, that's all for this update.

17-18th September: The Beginning of the Adventure

The beginning stages of this adventure started several months ago when I accepted an offer to study at Birkbeck College in London (it's part of the University of London).  As many of you know, the process to actually get there was long and, at some points, almost impossible.  But finally the dream came true today.  I've spent many nights preparing for the "Big Move."  Originally, I packed 2 large suitcases, 1 small rolling carry-on and a computer bag.  But by the time I left for the airport, I was down to just the 2 large suitcases and computer bag.  I feared I would not be able to keep track of all my luggage while going through Heathrow airport.  So being me, I had to repack my suitcases yet again the morning of my flight.  

The reality of this move set in when my parents finally left me at the airport.  Security did not take long, and before I knew it I was waiting patiently at the gate to board the flight that would forever change my life.  The plane was completely packed, but I was lucky enough to have a window seat next to a nice British couple.  They slept most of the flight; unfortunately I did not sleep a wink.  When I repacked my cases, I accidently put the bag with my sleeping bills into my checked luggage.  I was exhausted the whole time, but spent most of it watching the in-flight movies.  It did not help the situation that the French couple in front of me put their seats in the complete recline position.  Basically, I had the top of their seat in my lap, which makes using the pull down tray really hard.

We arrived earlier than I thought, as the itinerary was wrong about the length of the flight.  When I booked the flight it said it would take 9 hours, but in actuality it was only suppose to take a little over 8.  Our flight arrived at 7:45am (1:45 Dallas time), but we spent about 20 minutes flying around the city before we could land.  Landing at Heathrow's new Terminal 5 was interesting because when all hte gates at the terminal are full, they pull these tunnel stair things up to the plane so people can exit down them and then shuttle them to the gate.  It was definitely a new experience for me.  After I made it to the terminal, I had to pass through Border Control, I'm glad that my visa paperwork was finished before leaving the States because there was one girl being drilled about how she was going to pay for school, where she was going to live, etc.  Thankfully, all my stuff was already taken care of, and they just asked where I was going to school and wrote down my Visa number on this form then let me go.

By the time I got off the plane, rode the bus in, went through border control, and made it to luggage claims my bags were already off the belt and waiting for me.  I ventured into the main part of Heathrow to attempt and find the shuttle bus to my hotel.  All I have to say is Terminal 5 is an adventure in itself.  I was on the verge of giving up, when I finally found the right exit and the correct shuttle.  Now, I was not supposed to check in until 3pm (London time), but the last time I called the hotel, they said I could probably check in about 1.  When I arrived, they took pity on me and gave me the only room available at 9am so I could go ahead and check-in and finally get some sleep.  The room is nice and rather large.  I think I may have one of the handicap accessible rooms, but I'm okay with that.  Thus far, I've spent my first day in London sleeping and hanging out in my room.  I did eat in the hotel restaurant, as it is my only real option in the area.  My first meal in London consisted of green pea soup and spinach dip with ciabatta bread.  Random I know, but overall pretty good.  I think I might splurge tomorrow or Saturday and order room service (as I've never done that) and they have a Mexican beef burger, which intrigues me, but will cost around 17 pounds with delivery charge. (**I did try it and it was interesting)

This is the beginning of my adventure...

Challenges

With only three weeks left in Lubbock there are some many things going through my mind and on in my life.  The biggest struggle right now is trying to figure out how to pay for school next year.  Moving to London will cost an arm and a leg, but well worth the expense.  I thought I had everything figured out, unfortunately the loan credit denied my application without a cosigner.  This should not be a probably, since one would think their parents would want to support their children's dreams.  Apparently mine are the exception.  I sort of understand a little of their concerns, though I've proven to be the responsible, financially stable daughter so their concerns are unwarranted.  Ever since they told me no, I have been searching for ways around them.  I believe I have found a way, but it is going to take time to process.  Time is definitely not on my side, since I still have to apply for my visa.

Besides school stuff, I've began to sort through everything I've acquired over the past 7 1/2 years.  It's a strange feeling to divide one's property into keep and sell/give away.  In one night, I went from two closets full of clothes down to one (and I'm not finished yet).  I pretty much have to sell everything I own because there is not sense in storing my crap for the next 2-3 years.

The last thing I am excited/sad about is the fact I'm "kind of" interested in someone.  Since I'm leaving I am definitely not looking for any real relationship because I do not want to do the long distance thing (especially since I will be across the "pond" and he'd be at least a 10 hr flight away).  It would be nice though to have one last "fling" before I depart.  More than anything, I would not mind just spending more time getting to know this person (and if there happen to be some benefits, I'd be completely okay with that).

Well that is all I have for now.  Night all!

Things to Consider

Life changes quickly. When I last posted in January, I was still waiting to hear what my future held. After months of not knowing, the University of London accepted me into their PhD program at Birkbeck. I found out almost a month ago. There are so many things that must be done before I can leave though and time is running out fast. Namely, I need to apply for student loans so I can finish my visa application. Not to mention, by the end of the month I need to send in my housing application. In a month and a half, I will leave Lubbock. This is something I've dreamt of doing for the past several years. Now, after seven and a half years, I finally get to leave. It's almost bittersweet. As much as I am counting down until my birthday (the day I chose to get in the car and drive away), I know deep down I will miss aspects of my life here and the friends I'm leaving behind. Many of the friendships and connections I've made over the past three to four years are one's I'll never forget. Some of them have caused nothing but pain, but these were life lessons; not everything is going to go well and not everyone will like you. As a people pleaser this was something I needed to accept. Other friendships brought joy in times of hardships.
When I thought I did not have any options open to me two months ago, now I'm confronted with possibilities. I know God has a plan, but it was hard to see it amongst all the rejections I received. Two weeks after London notified me of my offer, another door opened at work. Unfortunately, one of my coworkers is relocating because her husband was offered a coaching job closer to both of their families. Even though she is stressing about the decision, in the long run it is what is best for them at this point in their lives. Her leaving opens a position in the department I would like to work in at the museum. As much as I hate abandoning our other coworker/friend and the desire to take on the challenge, it is not where I need or want to be. Even if I had not already accepted my position in London, remaining in Lubbock would be the easy/safe option. As the date for my departure from both Lubbock and the States draws near, I get ever more nervous/scared of the journey I am about to embark on. I am excited about what lies ahead, but fear the unknown. My personality type likes to plan everything down to the last detail, so not knowing what awaits around the corner frightens me. Although, I trust God's sovereignty.
There is no real point to this point I realize now, other than to spill what is on my mind.

Blind Date

I've just returned from my first ever blind date. It was not something I was looking for all week, and it proved to be a really boring evening. I was forced to go on this "date" because my friend has decided I need to find someone since she is married and wants everyone to be happy. As much as I love my friend, the whole idea frustrated and enraged me. I do not want/need a relationship because I am leaving Lubbock within the next six months. In the time I do have left here, I am extremely busy with two jobs and 6 hours of class. Also, I've known for a while that God has called me to remain single while I'm in Lubbock because the man he has for me is not here. Therefore, I did not see any point in going out with anyone when nothing is meant to happen.

The original plan for tonight was to go dinner, but things changed today when a babysitter could not be procured for my friend's friend's children. So my friend decided to have everyone over to her house for dinner and games. The guy is the coworker of a friend's friend's husband. He was a relatively nice guy, but totally not my type. I tried to be friendly so as not to seem rude, but he kept following me around like a lost puppy. On top of that, he lost big points within the first 5 minutes by telling the boys (aged 2, 6, and 7) to get out of the kitchen because it is the women's domain. [For those that don't know it, this comment is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves! Don't get me wrong I love to cook and don't mind doing it, but it pisses me off when people (especially men) say that women belong in the kitchen!] Then he kept trying to put his arm around me (or at least it seemed as if he was) during dinner, which freaked me out because I don't even know this person. Overall it was an experience I never want to go through again. And unfortunately the guy has my number so now I'm going to have to find a way to let him down easily, especially since he could not get the hint.

Life Issues

For the past two months, my bible study has been the Beth Moore study-When Godly People Do Ungodly Things. God has used this study to force me to deal with several long term standing issues. Namely I'm learning to how to arm myself against seduction and face the fact the I have fallen into sinful seduction. Satan has used the same trick to get at me for most of my life. I've always asked for forgiveness, but never truly let God deal with the underlying issue. I always thought even though I'd sought forgiveness there was no way that God could truly forgive me and that I needed to prove myself. Deep down I knew this was wrong and could not be done, unfortuantely my mind and heart would never agree. Through my daily lessons I've begun letting God have the whole problem and learning that my desire to "forgive" myself was a mixture of Satan's continued influence over me and the Holy Spirit's way of telling me that God has more He needed/wanted to change. I still have trouble completely letting go of everything. It is not in my nature to easily not be able to control my life and future. Working on graduate applications teaches one that you cannot control anything. The biggest question that Beth asked, and that I continued to ask myself, is Am I happy? Not just outwardly or temporarily happy, but all the time (even at 3am). At this point in my life, I'd have to answer "No."
So questions for everyone to ponder: Are you always happy? What do you really believe about God?

Long time

I realize it's been over a year since I last updated this site. A lot has changed since then, namely I finally finished my thesis for Tech and started a second MA at the same time at OU. Now that I'm done to my last 9 hours there, I am beginning to apply for PhD programs. Most of them are located on the West Coast! Living in Santa Barbara or Seattle would be amazing. I've been stressing out though over my GRE scores and am about to take the exam again.
Right now I'm working in Lubbock and am so ready to move. Lubbock has been my home for nearly the last 7 years. Though I started out loving Lubbock, the longer I am here the more I get burned out.
Since last year, lots have changed. I finally made it to London last November with Jana and Lauren. London was the most amazing place I've ever been and I cannot wait until I can return.
As for other aspects of my life, well let's see. I came to the point where I no longer take people's crap and donot care as much if I piss people off. This has cost me a couple of friendships, but in my opinion they were not really my friends anyways.
Now that I've updated the basic info about my life, I'll have to share what has been going on spiritually and emotionally. But it shall have to wait for another time because Pushing Daisies is on.

Update (for Emily's sake)

Ok, I know it's been a long time so I'll update. I'm doing it for Miss Emily Bryant's sake, cause she asked me too. Let's see there is a lot to cover. I'm no longer moving to England. A week and a half before defense my advisor threw out my intro and conclusion and gave me more books to read before I could defend. So needless to say I'm graduating in Decemeber now. What I'm going to do after that, God hasn't revealed to me yet.
Since I am not moving to England, I had to find a new place to live. I moved into Lynnwood Townhomes with Alisa, which is sweet. I love my new house and roommates, not to mention we have a dog now (it's Jana's).
Last week I got another year older, oh what fun (not really). I have a great night with some friends, except for those who decided to cover my car in marshmellow creme...believe me I'll get even.
Other than that, life is pretty boring. Just hanging out with friends and getting ready for a trip to Austin next week.
Guess that's all for now!

OUCH!!!

Today started out like any other day...I woke up (after a long night of good sleep) and started to get ready for the day. When I went to take my shower I found that the water had been turned off (yet again)...so I had to take a "bath" and wash my hair out with the extra water bottle we had. Then I left a little early for work, good right? Well, you'd think. When I pulled up to where I park, I got out of the car and started to walk around it...and tripped over the metal bar that was sticking out of the curb thing and fell into the bush in front of the car. I scrapped my knee, but that's not all...I also cut open my other foot in three different spots. That's my day so far...and this all happened before 11 am...what else can go wrong???...a lot!