Things to Consider

Life changes quickly. When I last posted in January, I was still waiting to hear what my future held. After months of not knowing, the University of London accepted me into their PhD program at Birkbeck. I found out almost a month ago. There are so many things that must be done before I can leave though and time is running out fast. Namely, I need to apply for student loans so I can finish my visa application. Not to mention, by the end of the month I need to send in my housing application. In a month and a half, I will leave Lubbock. This is something I've dreamt of doing for the past several years. Now, after seven and a half years, I finally get to leave. It's almost bittersweet. As much as I am counting down until my birthday (the day I chose to get in the car and drive away), I know deep down I will miss aspects of my life here and the friends I'm leaving behind. Many of the friendships and connections I've made over the past three to four years are one's I'll never forget. Some of them have caused nothing but pain, but these were life lessons; not everything is going to go well and not everyone will like you. As a people pleaser this was something I needed to accept. Other friendships brought joy in times of hardships.
When I thought I did not have any options open to me two months ago, now I'm confronted with possibilities. I know God has a plan, but it was hard to see it amongst all the rejections I received. Two weeks after London notified me of my offer, another door opened at work. Unfortunately, one of my coworkers is relocating because her husband was offered a coaching job closer to both of their families. Even though she is stressing about the decision, in the long run it is what is best for them at this point in their lives. Her leaving opens a position in the department I would like to work in at the museum. As much as I hate abandoning our other coworker/friend and the desire to take on the challenge, it is not where I need or want to be. Even if I had not already accepted my position in London, remaining in Lubbock would be the easy/safe option. As the date for my departure from both Lubbock and the States draws near, I get ever more nervous/scared of the journey I am about to embark on. I am excited about what lies ahead, but fear the unknown. My personality type likes to plan everything down to the last detail, so not knowing what awaits around the corner frightens me. Although, I trust God's sovereignty.
There is no real point to this point I realize now, other than to spill what is on my mind.